Do you ever find yourself lying awake at night over-thinking and worrying about the future? Do you go over every detail of what may or may not happen? This can be absolutely exhausting.
As much as we would all like to, we will never be able to predict the future; furthermore, we have no idea what a day will bring, or what an experience will be like.
For example, a really great plan could go very wrong, or something we are dreading could actually turn out to be wonderful.
I know the unknown can sometimes be scary, but It's just a waste of time to try to imagine what things will be like. If you have an imagination as active as mine, you will not only imagine what you think may happen, but you'll also dream up the most exaggerated, far-fetched circumstances (that definitely will not be happening) just in case.
Some of our worst fears revolve around us being humiliated in some way. Humiliation can be devastating; especially to us over-thinkers. Have you ever replayed a bad memory in your head several times, until it actually worsens in your mind as a result of your imagination, insecurity and distorted perception?
I will replay memories, scrutinize every little detail of an exchange I had with a friend or a stranger, until I inevitably find something negative to obsess about; whether it be, something I said, something I failed to say or my awkward body language. My friends say they do the same thing.
So, why are we so hard on ourselves? I believe it's because we think everyone sees us the way we see ourselves; but actually, the way we see ourselves is based on all of the unfiltered thoughts, emotions and experiences we've had since our childhood. We know things about ourselves that nobody else will ever know. We carry these things around with us, they're buried deep, but they're still there and we think everyone else can see them, but they really can't.
We need to all be proud of ourselves for growing up and making it this far, and we must forgive ourselves and let go of any "humiliating" experiences; as they are to be learned from. Remember, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
Fear is a close relative of worry, but fear is much more overbearing and hard to get rid of; however, much like worrying, no good can come out of fear. Fear is absolutely useless and pretty much just ruins your day. What's your greatest fear? Mine was fear of failure. The fear of failure lingered deep within me and would show its ugly head at my most vulnerable times; but after taking a closer look at this fear, I've come to ask myself, does failure even exist?
In order for someone to "fail", they must first "try" and the act of "trying" is such a wonderful accomplishment, and success in itself. So, from that moment on, I simply decided that there is no such thing as "failure"; therefore, my greatest fear was invalid. Nonetheless, I still worry about things being hard, but I am learning that the greatest things in life are going to be hard, hard to achieve and hard to receive.
Facing your fears can be tough, but it is an extremely liberating and prospering experience. Remember, wonderful things happen when you step outside of your comfort zone.
The number one dream crusher and goal destroyer is fear, with worry following closely in 2nd place. Just be cool about life, you don't always need to know where you're headed, when you'll meet "the one", how you'll do on your first day at your new job or if you'll be able to make it to your meeting on time. There's only one way to find out the answers to all of your questions, and that's to just jump head first into it.
Note: If you would rather not face your fears, and would prefer to continue to worry about everything, the solution is simple: cancel all of your plans, quit your job and hide in your bed. It's safe there, no one will judge you, and you won't humiliate yourself or have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You can just lay there safe from all of the scary, unknown things that may or may not happen out there.